be free from unhealthy relationships (lesson six) ...a blog ...
behavioural changes you can make … (lesson six) …
Don’t hang onto the past. “…Life is too short to allow the violations, losses, misunderstandings, distortions and disappointments of the past to dictate our course moving forward.” – Dr. David Simon “Free to Love Free To Heal”... let it go ...
Write out your own list of things to do to not contact him. Put your list up in different places in around your house.
Every time you want to research him out or look him up on Facebook, write out your feelings in your journal instead.
Every time you want to email or text “that man”, write out your feelings in your journal instead.
DO NOT Contact Him List
- engage in an activity you love
- ring a friend
- go for a latte
- go for a meditative nature walk
- read over everything that was wrong with the relationship
never run back to whatever broke you …
- I only feel like this because I’m afraid of abandonment
- this guy and this relationship used to make me feel …
- I truly truly deserve … and want … and the only way to get this is to stay away and make space for better
- I deserve the fairytale
- I LOVE ME …
never let an old flame burn twice ….
- Don’t snoopernet him Looking him up on the Internet is the most self-destructive action to take when youre trying to detach from a man. You can drive yourself insane- make yourself sick. So you get info on him. Then what? There’s nothing you can do about the intel you attain, except obsess or talk about it with friends. You will be even more consumed with him and he is not in your life anymore. Remember the old wife’s tale “curiosity killed the cat”. The less you know about him the better off you are. That’s why they say “innocence is bliss”.
- Erase all traces of him technologically Erase him from your cell and computer.
- Get blocking software if necessary There is software that can block someone from going on a particular website. There is also software that will prevent you from e-mailing impulsively. You will have to answer a quiz before it allows you to send an email. Utilize these types of software if necessary.
- Do not friend him or accept his “friend” requests on Facebook If you are his Facebook friend, you will be open to all of his events in his life. You may see pictures of women. You may watch him Sirting. You could see cutesy messages they scrawl on his wall. Or God forbid, the most unbearable painful – you could see if it says on his “status” that he’s “in a relationship”! And even worse- the name of the woman he’s in the relationship with. Then you might want to friend her to Und out more about her. You could end up enraged , obsessing about what she could possibly have that you don’t. Your life will be back focused on his life and you’re not even in touch with him anymore!
Its important to keep in mind that if you look him up on Facebook you’re in a way giving him the satisfaction of watching him interact with women (even if he doesn’t know you’re reading his page). If it’s for public information then some part of him may want people to know! He could even be embellishing or distorting information with images and Sirtatious comments to make himself look popular! Your fantasies about these women and their messages might not even be based on reality. This is why it’s so important to not play into this game and look. Why would you give a man who has rejected or hurt you in any way the satisfaction of socializing with other women right in front of you!
Heal Yourself with Writing: Course Overview
Lesson 1: How To Stop Clinging
Lesson 2: Going Through A Breakup
Lesson 3: Building A Support System
Lesson 4: How To Not Act Desperate
Lesson 5: Obsessing
Lesson 7: Your Psychological History
Ms Denise Mijatovic ... (aka indigo ...)
lead me ... blog writer ...
I am the owner and main author of me ... website. I want to keep this bit short and sweet so if you want to read more about me then please go to 'about me'.