(Last Updated On: 29/08/2017)

be free from unhealthy relationships (lesson eight) ...

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later on: what to do if you have a set back … (lesson eight) …

30/08/2017 : 12:00 |

If you forgive your ex it doesn’t mean you ever have to talk to them again. You don’t even have to acknowledge their existence if you see them or they try to contact you in any way.

Forgiving your ex just means that you no longer focus on them and how they hurt you. You have successfully broken your attachment/connection to them. Hopefully they’re just a mere memory that you rarely think about. Don’t let anyone tell you how long it takes to forgive someone. If you have had a lot of trauma in your past it could take you longer than the next person. Take as long as you need. Remember this is your process and it takes as long as it takes! And remember to forgive yourself too . You are not perfect. You did the best you could. You are doing the best you can now.

Confucius said “forgive yourself for your faults and mistakes and move on” When you’ve achieved the challenge of forgiving your ex STILL continue to not e-mail, text, Facebook, call or look your ex up on the Internet. Keep working on letting go and rejoice that you are finally free.

... forgiveness ...

--- spiritual tip ---

EXERCISE:

(This exercise is for women only)

What women can you think of are role models for an independent woman who doesn’t accept bad behavior from men? How does she cope? It can be a woman you know personally, a celebrity, a Jctional character in a movie or TV show or even a historical mythological Jgure.

Describe her here.

If you could invoke some of her qualities what would they be?

If you incorporated some of those qualities or activities in your life what would you be like?

(The following exercises are for both men and women)

Make a list of ten positive affirmations about yourself and repeat them out loud every day.

Read books that will positively strengthen and enlighten you — self-help books, memoirs, and spiritual books. Go to a bookstore or go to on line bookstores to browse.

MY RESPONSE:

Women Only There are so many women role models that it’s hard to choose just one. But I’m going to hone in on Oprah Winfrey; she has to be my forever female hero. She has overcome so much and I although she’s never had cause to leave her man I am 100% sure if he treated her wrong or cheated she’d sort him out BIG time.

She is human and real and not afraid to ‘be’ who she is at the core. She speaks from the soul and touches the soul of others. That is just how I would love and want to be.

Some of her qualities that I would like to invoke into my life include: bravery, to speak out and not be afraid of the outcome, and to know that what is in my heart is enough …

If I did invoke some of those qualities into my life it would be life changing; I would be living from the real inner depths of my soul and I too would most certainly touch the soul’s of others.

I am a woman in process. I’m just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull. Oprah Winfrey …

Men & Women My ten affirmations (all with – just the way I am – added to them) …

  • I am worthy …
  • I am equal …
  • I am loveable …
  • I am …
  • I am …
  • I am …
  • I am …
  • I am …
  • I am …
  • I am …

Books To Read …

  • Louise Hay – you can heal your body …
  • David Hamilton – all his books…
  • Dr Joe Dispenza – all his books …
  • Bruce Lipton – all his books…
  • Sandy Newbigging – all his books…

We all get where we’re going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. Carol Burnett …

Okay, what if you do all of this hard work and you have a setback? You gave in and called, texted, or emailed “your ex” and didn’t get the response you wanted or were rejected.

  • Stop now. Accept the fact that you’ve had a setback and don’t contact them again.
  • Just do whatever you were doing to not call, email or text your ex. The trick to setbacks is to get back on track and continue on the path you were on.
  • Call someone from your support system and talk about your feelings. Try not to be ashamed. Keeping it a secret could lead to another setback. Getting it out in the open will get it out of your system.
  • Forgive yourself. You are only human. You are not perfect. Accept yourself. Have compassion for yourself. Try not to be hard on yourself.
  • Give yourself credit for the hard work you’ve done. 6. Have patience with yourself. Change takes time

Remember change is a process! It is not linear. It’s usually two steps forward and one step back.

... what to do if I back slide ...

--- action steps ---

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Ms Denise Mijatovic ... (aka indigo ...)

Ms Denise Mijatovic ... (aka indigo ...)

lead me ... blog writer ...

I am the owner and main author of me ... website. I want to keep this bit short and sweet so if you want to read more about me then please go to 'about me'.

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All the situations in our lives,
from the insignificant to the major,
conspire to teach us exactly what we need
to be learning at any given time.
Patience, compassion, perseverance, honesty, letting go …
all these are covered in the classroom of
the teacher that is your life.

… Daily OM …

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